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THINGS THAT GO VROOM

GOT TOOLS? Part Two, Power Tools

August 9, 2009 by Troy Leave a Comment

Part two of the story…

Drill Press – A tall, upright machine used for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your soda pop across the room splattering it on the freshly painted air cleaner you were drying.

Wire Wheel – Cleans paint off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light.

Electric Hand Drill – Normally used for spinning pop-rivet heads in their holes until they eventually die of old age.

Belt Sander – An electric sanding tool commonly used to covert minor touch-up jobs into major touch-up jobs.

Oxyacetylene Torch – Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also used to ignite the grease inside your wheel hub when used for removing sticky bearing races.

Table Saw – A large, stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles into the side of your race car.

Two-ton hydraulic hoist – A tool used for testing the maximum tensile strength of every bolt you forgot to remove first.

Air Compressor – A machine that takes the electricity produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last overtightened by the factory mechanic thirty years ago, and promptly rounds off their heads.

Filed Under: Misc Tagged With: tools

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